Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
