I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize