Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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