You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
