I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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