We're facebook friends in real life
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
This house was built for laser tag.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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