a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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