White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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