So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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