Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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