You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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