I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
