is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
