we have officially lost it.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
