I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
