You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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