Just fell off a train. Bad.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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