dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
