If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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