Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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