I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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