I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
