Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
