She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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