Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
