cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
