you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
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