i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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