Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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