i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
