It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
