Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
