she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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