Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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