Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
