Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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