he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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