I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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