Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
