in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
