Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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