your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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