I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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