She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
