Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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