but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize