Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
