Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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