Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
