i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize