Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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