but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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