So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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