His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
