so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
