I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
